They’d been together for 10 years, married for two. James and I have our ups and our downs in what could be called “still the honeymoon phase.” And many of them, frankly, have to do with how he used to be married to someone else. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man.They’d met young, in their early 20s, and had decided, two months before James and I met, to divorce. James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think either A) I’m thrilled he’s got that experience under his belt, or B) Why god, did I have to fall in love with a guy with an ex-wife? But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me? You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle.grief, angry exes, hurting children, financial problems).If he’s recently divorced, be cautious, take things slow, and make sure you get your needs met before getting too involved.A ready-made family might be hard to accept but this is what people mean when they say “package deal.” He loves and cares for others, not just himself. He wants someone who can be a good example for his kids, someone who values commitment and character and isn’t all about the shallow stuff.
This was the most common point that all my respondents pointed out on.
Many divorced men begin dating long before they’re finished grieving, and you don’t want to be his rebound or wind up with a guy who can’t give you what you need.
While it’s difficult to assign arbitrary dates for when it’s okay for a divorced man to begin dating, those who haven’t been divorced at least six months are often still dealing with divorce fallout (e.g.
Curious if your cute divorced guy is ready to date? It's impossible to date in the 21st century without, at some point, dating someone who’s divorced.
Fortunately, most divorced singles have as many pros as they do cons.